Misfit toys

As a fan of Rankin-Bass Christmas specials and Engrish, not to mention creepy things, I hit pay dirt on Saturday when I discovered a local Island of Misfit Toys, conveniently located adjacent to Penn Station at Weber's discount store.

We'll start off with this, a NOT-McDonalds snack truck, driven by red-eyed robotic chefs, with a manic mascot we'll call Donald Mc Ronald on the side. Did you notice the door says the truck is also a traditional American "sweet potato bar?" And imaginary customers can buy a refreshing cup of "Pebsi" from this truck, as well.














Then there is this tragic piece of crap, already missing two buttons. If you want your kid to never learn how to tell time, and you also don't like them and/or want to scare them, be sure to get them this.














Then we have the copyright-infringement special Star Raider (no relation to the Atari game), which claims, in typical Engrish all-caps font, "BUMP AND GO ACTION / WITH BEAUTIFUL MUSIC. SOME COLOURS, SOME STYLES. WITH FLSHING LIGHT."














Party Music uses one of the other familiar Engrish fonts. It claims, "Turn And Press The Arrow To Hear A Melody Intermixed With 1 Of 4 Fun Sounds." Well, this sounded promising to me, but the sad part is, the party must be over, because none of the Party Musics make any sounds.













And finally, we have "Funny Child riding pony" or en espanol, "Nino Simpatico," which advises on the side of the box, "Lifted up the pony's tail, it can ride" and depicts it can riding at a blurry-fast rate.














But would you please just get a load of pony's evil glowing red eyes.














It may be that you have a serious case of the fear after visiting Manhattan's own little Island of Misfit Toys. But don't worry, because Weber's has got you covered with another product.