CoKane’s Top 2 Awesome to the Max/Grody to the Max lists for 2005
Because I can't always remember so good, and also if I tried to think of 10 of the awesome-est events of 2005 they would end up being like “at least I didn’t get shingles this year.”Awesome-est happenings of the year
2. Receiving a Christmas card from Cynthia Plaster Caster
After enjoying a friendly interview convo with famous groupie/wiener artist CPC, I got a
card from the hand who cast Jimi Hendrix’ jimmy!
1. Meeting Kurt Vonnegut
Finally, after hoping for years to see him before he dies--which doesn't look far off--word came that he was doing an NPR interview in the same building where I work. My coworker and I staked out the front door, and finally, out he teetered in a white suit, with some helper lady on his arm. We couldn't talk, so Diego got his attention and said, "These ladies are fans of yours." We eagerly nodded, barely peeping out greetings.
"Well, I'd love to date both of you," he said, then turned and made his way off.
I literally jumped up and down in the elevator on the way back up to work.Execs I'd love to kick in the 'naderoos
2. Whomever decided Marc Maron should get the heave-ho from Air America’s Morning Sedition.
1. Whomever decided Arrested D should get canceled. And yet The War at Home lives on. The War at Home should be called, "Uh-oh! My Daughter's Hot!" or "Whoops, My Wife Has Hot Tits But We Can't Seem to Get Along" or something. I blame this, along with many other of the world’s troubs, on the red states.Freshest jamz
2. Brazilian Girls: Brazilian Girls
I don't know, you've either either heard this by now or you're a resident of Squaresville. JK, if you like music with like other languages and a girl singer and you can sing and dance to it and crap, check it.
1. Eels: Blinking Lights and Other Revelations
Dammit! I knew (that because I love the Flaming Lips) I was supposed to like this band! Why didn’t I check them out sooner?! This double CD kicks ass back and forth with awesomeness! As the departed Wesley Willis would say, the rockshows were awesome
2. Invite Them Up CD Release Show @ Bowery Ballroom, December 12
Maybe something will one day beat Matter of Trust’s
double-shot of Billy Joel’s “Matter of Trust,” but I don’t know how.
1. Langhorne Slim
@ The Frying Pan, sometime last spring
This was a free show with an open bar, yet I couldn’t even drag any of those drunks from BUST to come with me. Went anyway and was glad I did—Langhorne OWNED the crowd at this performance at the once-was-sunk, but-now-afloat old iron boat/venue known as the Frying Pan. The ship’s of-another-time atmosphere was ideal for his old-tymey schtick. Nary a self-conscious hipster in sight, and kids were actually dancing and openly enjoying themselves.Reasons to continue boycotting most rockshows
2. Deerhoof @ Northsix, September
This show was perfect if you’ve ever wished to be crammed into a clown car full of fat-walleted williamsjerks. My concert-going pal bailed, so I wasted my plus one on some dope who didn’t even have the sense to buy me a drink, then two other jackoffs acted like I’d injured them personally when I sat on an empty stool next to them, and scooted their stools away. (Maybe they were trying to have a heart-to-heart at the Deerhoof show and I interrupted that.) It was so crowded I disgustedly left only a few songs into Deerhoof's set, which did sound great, but the neg was outweighing the pos at that point. If only I’d learned to boycott Williamsjerk sooner!
1. Forro in the Dark
The band was awesome (and Tom Waits/Beck sideman Smokey Hormel played with them) But I was fuzzy-headedly forced to meringue with several Brazilians, who I learned were the most persistent men on the planet. (No, I cannot meringue.) Actual quote from my suave dancing partner in the decorated short-sleeve button-down shirt: “Let me guess—jou are not from Brazil. Ja ja ja ja!
” What gave that one away, genius. You’re the one who demanded the girl with the see-through skin dance your exotic dance of seduction.
But in all seriousness, ladies, if you’re ever feeling unattractive, TOTALLY go to S.O.B.’s.Most trashalicious book reissues
2. Rona Jaffe’s The Best of Everything
Fans of Valley of the Dolls should most def read this juicy chronicle of a group of working-girl friends in New York City, which takes place about a decade earlier. Not so many pills, but these characters make up for it with drinking. Even though this is like 50 years old, this still rang so true that I started writing Ms. Jaffe a letter, then got distracted with my busy working-girl-in-NYC life.
1. Pamela Des Barres’ I'm With the Band
It's the classic dirt-packed rock and roll tell-all but with a heart of gold. And Des Barres captures teenage rocker obsession exactly and sweetly. So good that I wanted write her a letter and make friends.The real terrorists—of my mind!
2. White Noise
I don’t even get the ending of this movie that much. Maybe that’s because I watched it by myself at night and was hiding my eyes and covering my ears and going “lalalallalalallalala” to my cat for a lot of it. I bet the DVD extras of real EVP phenomena are cool, but I’m sure not watching that. What are you, crazy?
1. So repulsive that I actually cried more than once while hiding my eyes for much of the movie.