Doctor love

Today my Becoming a Successful Writer Train made an unscheduled but necessary all-day stop in the Organization Station. This entailed, among other things, going through a large collection of old photos and realizing I didn't look so good until around when I moved to New York about six years ago. So either I just keep getting better-looking and better put-together, or with the advent of digital photogaphy I choose to delete all unflattering pictures. Either way, I look better now, and that's the most important thing.

I admire people who can keep spartan living and work spaces, but I'm also suspicious of them. Are they even alive? I am much better about packratting than I used to be, but I still write a loooot of notes to self. I have decades of journals, notes, letters, and sketches, and generally just by existing I amass a clutter that accumulates in folders and bags and boxes and shelves and drawers.

Another thought that arose as I sifted through evidence from my first 30-odd years was, I was a NERD! Nowhere was this more evident than in my collection of alternative Dr. Peppers from across our fine land. Beginning in the late '90s, anytime I went somewhere that was far away enough to have its own weird sodas (or, as they might say, "colas" or "pops,") I made sure to see what their Doc Pepper ripoff was called.



Part of this specimen is faded because I had it on my fridge. Because I'm classy.




Now, not only do I not particularly like Dr. Pepper, but I don't even drink soda.




I just think it's funny to copy something and partially change the name.



And I also liked the element of surprise and randomness from store to store. I wonder who gets to name their store brand's ripoff of Dr. Pepper? Whoever that person was at Big K decided to do a little propagandizing with their cola labeling: "TASTE IS ALL THAT MATTERS." (I disagree: looks are!)



At the height of faux-Pepper fever, I had a bf who named his leather jacket Dr. Thunder.



And on a camping trip when we found Dr. Wow, another ex & I composed a commercial jingle for it.



I did keep one can as a representative of another Doctor, when a 2-liter or case of cans (preferred for their cutable labels) hadn't been available. But I realized that although this collection amounted to saving garbage in the name of some half-assed, wise-assed hobby, saving an empty soda can was really garbagey. So I think I threw it out. I want to say that the name on that can was Dr. Awesome, but maybe that's just wishful thinking.

As my collection (and my pride in it) grew, so did a little thing called the Internet. Eventually it occurred to me to see if anyone else had had the same collection idea. My lesson that sad day was: There's always someone much nerdier than you. And you can find them... on the Internets. I have to say, although that nerd (and others: there used to be a fakedrpepper.com) totally destroyed me, we dont' have much overlap in our collections. Makes you wonder what else is out there. Maybe I should bequeath my collection to the champ.